You might have heard the story of the dedicated telephone line that Anne Sexton and Maxine Kumin once installed in their respective homes. This was a wild luxury in the time of landlines. As the women wrote their poetry together/not together they rested their telephones on the corners of each of their respective desks. Two open receivers: listening, waiting. It’s an image of women’s friendship that I keep close. That I adore.
Think what they might have done with smartphones and IG accounts. I suspect they would have loved writing dates on Zoom, scheduled online poetry readings together, maybe even started a podcast.
In the visual arts, my two favorite artists are Leonora Carrington and Remedios Varo. When I discovered the fabulous book, Surreal Friends, focused on their friendship — along with the work of photographer Kati Horna, I knew that I was not alone. Poets, writers, artists need community.
Creation of the Birds by Remedios Varo, (1957)
One of the many things I love about living in Seattle, Washington are the connections I’ve created with different poets over the last two decades. I am wildly fortunate to cherish poets Kelli Russell Agodon, Elizabeth Austen, and Kathleen Flenniken. They are among my dearest friends and first readers.
THE GIANTESS by Leonora Carrington (1947)
Once upon a time, I had a Modern Orthodox boyfriend who needed to spend every Sabbath with other Orthodox Jews (not partially-observant ones like me). At the time, I didn’t understand it. If he was truly Orthodox, why did it matter who he was with? I had not yet read Adrienne Rich’s line, “What is a Jew in solitude?” This was especially true in the year following a loved one’s death, 10 Jews praying together form a Minyan. This is a requirement of the prayer. There’s a wonderful episode from the 1990’s show, Northern Exposure where Joel Fleishman’s friends travel all over Alaska in search of Jews….In other words, art and faith have some things in common.
Two summers ago, I took a spontaneous trip to the Art Institute of Chicago to see an exhibit of Remedios Varo’s paintings, drawings, and objects. I cajoled my dear friend, poet and birder, Angie Vorhies to accompany me. Our trip came together within a week. A fabulous experience.
I want to be a woman who flies across the country for art. I want to be a poet who believes in herself but oftentimes that takes connecting with other poets. I’m no longer ashamed of this. I embrace it!
Perhaps that’s why I started Poets on the Coast: A Writing Retreat for Women with my dear friend, Kelli Russell Agodon. Perhaps that is why it is still thriving 16 years later. (Registration is open.) Art and poetry don’t happen in a vacuum. We need each other, especially now (at least in the US) as the world seems to disregard the arts more than ever before.
This holiday season, take some time out to write a capsule review of a book of poems you liked on Amazon (no purchase required) or maybe send a fan letter to a poet — you can easily contact any poet (or other artist) through their website or on social media. Who doesn’t appreciate a fan letter? It will take you 15 minutes.
The secret to women’s friendships in art and poetry is that we need each other. We need poetry dates, poetry Zooms, and even an open receiver on the edge of the desk. It’s that simple. It’s that beautiful.
Wishing you the warmth and small optimisms of the season!